A Beginners Guide To Squirting, In Case Youve Been Curious




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It’s generally believed to be fluid released
from the Skene’s glands, a set of glands located near the urethral
sponge, when the surrounding erectile tissue is stimulated.

It’s also possible that squirting is released
through the urethra itself. The most important thing is that it can
feel really good, and that pleasure is what really matters
here.

Here’s exactly how to make someone squirt (or
how to make yourself squirt) and get it on this fun and adventurous
way.

What is
squirting?

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Squirting is when a person with a vulva releases
a fluid from the urethra or vulva area in response to sexual
stimulation. Although there’s ongoing debate about the exact
components of squirt, studies have found it can contain similar
components as found in urine and semen.

1.

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Ditch the
expectations

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For women, squirting comes with its own set of
pressures. It seems to have become another “impossible” sexual act
we’re meant to perform. This not only contributes to sexual shame;
it also makes it hard to let go enough to squirt. 

Legendary squirting pioneer and sex educator
Lola Jean says she tries to stay away from the idea that you can
“make” anyone do anything sexually. Instead, think of it more as
enabling them to have the experience. “If they don’t want to
squirt, you’re not going [to] make anyone do anything,” Jean
says.

Squirting also doesn’t feel good for everyone
(just like orgasms in general), so make sure the receiver is
totally game before proceeding.

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2.

Get in the
right mindset

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To get into the right mindset, you need to be
sure you’re both relaxed and in the mood. Because squirting
involves release, being relaxed is key to feeling comfortable
enough to let your body do its own thing without tensing up.

“The woman needs to feel safe so she can
completely let herself go. She needs to be relaxed, completely
present, 100% in her body, and her mind may not be wandering,” says
licensed sex therapist Moushumi Ghose, LMFT.

Remember that this is about feeling pleasure,
not performing for yourself or a partner. Enjoy the sensations your
body is feeling and know that while you may not squirt, that’s not
the main purpose of what you are doing. The main purpose is
pleasure.

RELATED:
How To Have A Nipple Orgasm:
Stimulation & Massage Tips

3.

Start by
getting super aroused

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In order to squirt, the vagina and vulva need to
be at full capacity for arousal. There is no rushing this game.

“Explore your body and internal vaginal tissue.
See what areas have arousal and erotic potential,” says
AASECT-certified sex therapist Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST. Set
up a comfortable space where you and your partner can explore the
body.

When you’re aroused, the vagina naturally gets
wet, the clitoris and labia swell and get darker, and everything
becomes more sensitive.

This heightened state of arousal is a
cornerstone of squirting because in order to build up to a final
release, you have to be willing to take the ride up to the top.

For more ideas on how to get there, here’s
exactly how to make a woman orgasm, tips for more explosive
orgasms, and different types of orgasms to explore.

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4.

Stimulate the
G-spot area

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Once you or your partner are properly aroused,
it’s time to get to business. For manual stimulation, “the giver
inserts fingers into the vagina and applies pressure, rather than
friction, to the front wall of the vagina (near her stomach) one
and a half to three inches in (every woman is different),” says
Kenneth Play, a sex educator who has been teaching people to squirt
for years.

This area is known as the G-spot, which is less
of a “spot” and more of an “area” that happens to have a lot of
erectile tissue, as well as an area where you can stimulate the
internal, back end of the clitoris.

“You will know you found the spot because it
changes texture and feels more ‘rubbery’ when you are aroused,”
Katherine Zagone, N.D., medical director and a sexual wellness
expert at Gentera, tells mbg.

5.

Get some sex
toys

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Sex toys are an excellent way to up the ante on
your squirting potential. While the G-spot can be stimulated
manually, using a curved G-spot wand can be very useful.

There are a ton of toys to choose from:
something simple like the We-Vibe Rave or a heavier toy like the
njoy Pure Wand might be a perfect fit.

G-spot stimulation alone is rarely enough to
cause female orgasm or squirting, so you’ll also want to get some
toys for the clitoris to help get you to that heightened state of
arousal.

Jean suggests trying a clit-sucking toy such as
the Womanizer. Your wand vibrator could also be a useful tool. We
love Le Wand Petite and classic Magic Wand. 

Communicate with your partner and experiment
with what feels good. You might like vibration, or you might
not.

Consistent pressure could be the thing that
works for you. Maybe you enjoy circles over the area. Perhaps you
like a combination of things. This experience will be super
personal to everyone

mbg tip

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Here’s
a list of 28 of our favorite expert-approved sex toys for
couples.

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6.

Learn to
control the PC muscles

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Your pelvic floor muscles, also known as your
pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, can make a big contribution to
squirting. These are a hammock-like set of muscles that hold in
your lower organs, from the uterus to the bowels. While having
control over them is not an absolute in squirting, it helps.

Play pays special attention to mastery of these
muscles. He recommends developing a “neuromuscular connection” with
your PC muscles, meaning that you’re able to control when you’re
contracting these muscles and whether you’re pulling them inward or
outward.

“When the G-spot is stimulated vigorously, it
usually creates a natural tendency to squeeze and pull inward
instead of bearing down,” he explains. “So, one of the keys to
enabling squirting is to learn to bear down during intense G-spot
stimulation.”

If a partner is doing the stimulating, the
receiver should still play an active role as well. “Ask her to
alternately squeeze and bear down around your fingers to calibrate
with her and know what it feels like when she does this,” Play
says.

Be sure to be gentle with yourself. Zagone says
that while bearing down may work for you, controlling your PC
muscles may simply mean letting them go or relaxing. Finding what
works for you can take a lot of practice, so it’s important to do
your PC exercises a few times a week to be sure they’re strong.

RELATED:
How To Masturbate: 25 Tips & Tricks
From A Sex Therapist

7.

Don’t forget
lube

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Lube is critical in all sex acts. Don’t sleep on
it. Lube acts as a barrier between toys/fingers and the sensitive,
mucus-rich vulva skin.

Get some high-quality lube to use with your sex
toys, fingers, and everything else. It enhances sexuality,
pleasure, and arousal. 

When in doubt, go for a water-based lube.
Silicone lube is more slippery and requires less reapplication, but
it can damage silicone toys.

Pjur lube makes an excellent water-based lube
that is free of parabens and chemicals, or here’s a list of the
best natural lubes.

You can also try a female arousal gel, such as
one from Promescent. While they can be too intense for some vulva
owners, there are some brands that make a very mild, all-natural
version that can help promote blood flow to the clitoris and
vulva.

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8.

Be open to
getting messy

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Just like you need to be in the right
psycho-emotional state to be able to squirt, you need to be open to
getting messy. While the amount and propulsion force of squirting
liquid varies from person to person, it will very likely end in a
mess.

Instead of freaking out about it, embrace it.
Skyler says that the mess should be seen as an erotic benefit, not
something to get anxious about. 

If you’re nervous about the mess, simply put
down a towel or two before getting busy. If you’re feeling extra
fancy, you can even buy a sex blanket that is specifically designed
for period sex, squirting, and all other manner of sexual fluids.
They’re pricey, but they’re definitely pretty cool.

It’s also worth mentioning that while it’s
sometimes referred to as “female ejaculation,” squirting doesn’t
always present as the gushing explosion you might be envisioning.
Squirting is, like so many things in sex, unique for everyone.

“Some squirt leaks, drips, streams, and, yes,
some of it ejects,” Jean explains. “Squirting can happen during or
independent of an orgasm. I like to refer to it as ‘sexual
applause’: Something that’s happening is feeling good, leading to a
release of fluid.”

RELATED:
How To Cum Faster, For Women: 21
Techniques To Try

While squirting can definitely happen during
penis-in-vagina intercourse, the best sex positions for making
someone squirt usually involve penetration using fingers or
toys.

1.

On her
back

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Squirting takes diligence, patience, and
multiple types of stimulation. With the receiver lying on her back,
it’s easier for the giver to gain access to every part of the body
they need in order to produce squirting.

Although what works for someone is definitely
not universal, Play has a winning squirting hack that he says has
worked for tons of people. He breaks it down like this:

“The best angle is for the giver to be in a
bent-over row position, crossing her body, with the leg farther
away from you over your shoulder. In this position, your two middle
fingers should be inside her, with the index finger and thumb
pointing down toward her anus. You hook your middle and ring finger
together and keep them flexed and locked. Then apply pressure with
your palm against her vulva (like pushing toward her head),
stimulating her clitoris,” he says. “Then move your arm up and
down, pressing down toward her anus and up toward the front wall of
her vagina hard. The rubbing of the palm on the outside of her
vulva is inducing sensation on her clitoris, while the fingers
inside are causing sensation on the G-spot.” 

2.

Standing
upright

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Ghose also suggests standing upright for
squirting. Stand against a wall so that you can lean against it for
support. Be sure your legs are spread wide enough so your partner
has access to your entire vulva and vagina.

It may be easier for the giver to be on their
knees in front of you. Grab a pillow so the knees can be supported.
If you’re extra flexible, try placing a foot on the shoulder of the
giver for even more vulva access.

3.

Whatever the
receiver prefers

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“Whatever position makes her feel most
comfortable and makes it easier to access the particular spot that
stimulates ejaculation will be the best position for her,” Ghose
says. 

Communication is lubrication, so if something
isn’t working for you, speak up and be open to finding something
that does.

Zagone says that most couples who give squirting
a try find that it increases their sexual bond. So this is
definitely something worth exploring.

With that being said, remember that while
squirting is a fun and sexy thing, it isn’t going to happen for
every single person. And that is perfectly OK. 

When it comes to sex, we should all be focusing
on exploring the depths of pleasure we can experience rather than
trying to achieve goals.

Explore your body and have fun with it. If you
squirt, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s great too!

Frequently asked questions

how to make my wife squirt

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